Through Music and Memories: My Father's World ابّو
The winter of 2021 found my brother Hamid and me journeying back to Punjab. The wintry air wrapped us in nostalgic embraces, and as I wandered the terraces of my grandfather’s home, I was drawn to a spare room, where memories lay ensnared in the form of VHS tapes.
With a voice heavy with memories, my uncle confided that they once belonged to our father. I was suspended in a moment of contemplation. I recalled, albeit faintly, my father's love for films and the rhythm of old melodies. It was a passion I had never really taken the time to absorb. Yet now, as I thought about it, the significance of his love for music felt profound. Wasn't I also enamoured by the magic of classic songs and the allure of cinema?
As I journeyed through the memories housed in my phone, an image of the legendary Kishore Kumar caught my eye. Instinctively, I pulled up his soulful tracks on Spotify, and as the music began, I felt the notes transporting me — not just back to my Scottish childhood in Edinburgh but also to the rugged terrains of Chitral. The familiar hums from the late '70s would often fill our jeep rides, painting our journeys with hues of nostalgia.
I recently witnessed the mesmerising Anoushka Shankar at the Edinburgh International Festival, my thoughts meandered back to my father. His adoration for poetry, music, and films echoed in the recesses of my mind. It dawned upon me that perhaps my soul had borrowed some fragments of his. I feel like I'm on a quest with each place I traverse — Edinburgh, Istanbul, or Chitral. A quest to relive the moments, the dreams, the adventures that my father might have been denied.
What would he have pursued if the world had given him more freedom if he had wielded the courage and harboured deeper self-love? These are questions I might need help finding answers to. And it's best left that way. Instead, with every adventure and melody, I'll offer a silent prayer in his memory as I journey through life, cherishing the legacy of love and passion he inadvertently passed on to me.